Well fuck me. What the fucking HELL did I do to make YOU block me on Facebook... So much for staying friends after you DUMPED my brother. I seriously have my feelings hurt now. Wow so many times this week. I think I will just stay home all weekend clean my house and just avoid people. All that seems to be happening to me is people hurting my feelings. It's fucking bullshit. Here I am crying again... fuck that shit.
Ya know what, I usually could care less what people think of me, but I just found out that I've been blocked by someone who I never ever, ever thought would do that and it hurts my fucking feelings. For the record I NEVER fed any info or pictures or anything like that from MY facebook to my brother, who is NOT on facebook. I never told my brother that you had a new boyfriend, he found out on his own. I kept my mouth shut, I did what I thought was fair to you and my brother. I wished you well, and THOUGHT we could still maintain some semblance of a relationship albeit different than it was at one time. I cant even begin to say how much this hurts my feelings. I mean I get it you guys broke up, called off the wedding and you've moved on with your life and that's great. I can see why you don't want to communicate with me anymore or have me as a friend on here, but even a little text or message saying "Hey I've gotta do this, hope you understand" would have been nice. I would probably not even have noticed if you unfriended me but since we have mutual friends, I see that you have either deactivated your account or blocked me. I just want to say that I have never trash talked you to anybody. Even when my brother and I have talked about the things that happened and the breakup. I feel like I am living through this break up along with my brother. We all feel the sense of loss and I guess this just makes it absolute. Believe me, I understand this very well, people break up, people get hurt and one person eventually moves on faster than the other. I just hope that you know I never tried to do anything to hurt you or your family. I will get over this as it is minuscule in the grand scheme of things, but I just wanted to put it out there that I am shocked and even hurt to find this out.
Friday, February 15, 2013
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Just feeling a little... put off
I don't even know if its true. I don't have confirmation or anything like that. What i have is a picture on Facebook of a hand with a ring and lots of people congratulating her. What I DON'T have is a personal call or text message saying "I am getting married" or "I got engaged". So what she has in return is nothing from me. I cant help but feel like I have been slighted. I am supposed to be one of her best friends, whether we say that to each other or not, you cant be rabbit partners like we are unless you are good, close, confiding friends. I feel like I have been just lumped into a category all along with everybody else, like god and all of Facebook. Since when is it ok to get engaged and not tell your close friends personally? It fucking hurts my feelings. And if that makes me a selfish, crying, little baby then so be it.
I don't even think these are the types of things I wanted to write about in this fucking blog. I have so many more interests, but lately all i feel are petty emotions. I haven't been talking to another of my best friends since she bought herself almost the exact same purse as I have around Christmas time. Now THAT sounds incredibly petty. But that also hurt my feelings.
What it does is make me feel like, I don't know, overshadowed? Or unimportant? or like less than unique, less than interesting, less than I am.
And how do I go about explaining these feelings to this friend who doesn't even have a clue how much it bothered me that she bought the exact same color and brand, but different style of purse as I bought myself;? Typing it out is supposed to help clear my mind, right? Not working.
So these are things in my head
and one or two more
slightly off the wall
this one particular customer of mine.... 7 ways from Sunday. SEVEN WAYS FROM SUNDAY. I would. yep, I would. Well, maybe in an alternate reality.
and
strange events from a couple weeks ago, have left me still reeling. Some things never stay buried, even with all the mental dirt I have been trying to shovel over it. 7 years of imaginary dirt. damn... damn it to hell.
I don't even think these are the types of things I wanted to write about in this fucking blog. I have so many more interests, but lately all i feel are petty emotions. I haven't been talking to another of my best friends since she bought herself almost the exact same purse as I have around Christmas time. Now THAT sounds incredibly petty. But that also hurt my feelings.
What it does is make me feel like, I don't know, overshadowed? Or unimportant? or like less than unique, less than interesting, less than I am.
And how do I go about explaining these feelings to this friend who doesn't even have a clue how much it bothered me that she bought the exact same color and brand, but different style of purse as I bought myself;? Typing it out is supposed to help clear my mind, right? Not working.
So these are things in my head
and one or two more
slightly off the wall
this one particular customer of mine.... 7 ways from Sunday. SEVEN WAYS FROM SUNDAY. I would. yep, I would. Well, maybe in an alternate reality.
and
strange events from a couple weeks ago, have left me still reeling. Some things never stay buried, even with all the mental dirt I have been trying to shovel over it. 7 years of imaginary dirt. damn... damn it to hell.
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