Disinterest

So if I started a website or social networking site that was the most appealing to me (and people like me, if there are any), it would be called Disinterest. It would be a bit like Pinterest. Except it would be all pictures and descriptions about all the things I WANT to do, get excited about doing, fantasize about doing, plan to do and maybe sometimes even start doing but then for some reason STOP doing.

It would be full of things like recipes, decor, crafty, cute, neat and fun ideas, coupons, markers, pens, pencils, paints, paper, canvas, sketches, fabric, projects began but never finished, supplies bought, but never opened. All the things I have never finished.

For many of you this may be a refection of what you pin on Pinterest. I can say the same, and that is why I really don't use my Pinterest account all that much. It is fucking depressing. Looking at all those things I want to do and knowing I will NEVER do any of them. Fuck, I even printed off a recipe, bought the ingredients, took it all home and left it in the fridge until those delicious rutabagas were soggy, rotten and growing some fort of fuzz on them. Yeah Pinterest, you whore of ideas, you instigator of failed attempts to do creative, inspiring things. Fuck you. I am calling you Disinterest from now on.

So, maybe, just maybe I am taking out a bit of self loathing on poor Pinterest. To be honest, I do love Pinterest and I am beginning to think that I really do hate myself enough that I probably could benefit from psychotherapy. Well, fuck you to my imaginary potential Therapist. I am just going to write in my angry blog. Or write angry things in my blog, however you wish to take that, TAKE THAT.

Just having a bit of a problem right now with my feelings. I am not apologizing, I am just saying. I don't really want to sit here and delve into the reasons of my loneliness and my sadness and how I think the angle of the earth is fucking with my moods and how i think the early sunsets are making me feel tired and lazy. And how I cant seem to do anything with out shoving food of all kinds into my mouth. And how I am filling out my biggest pair of jeans to the fullest extent that I have since I have owned these jeans. How I will not do any single thing to help myself feel better, look better, or get better. All I really have to say to that is why should I fucking care? It's not going to change one single thing. I know I am the only one that can make me feel better. I am the only one that can put the damn spoon down, or not buy those Doritos or ice cream or have the second helping of scalloped potatoes. But guess what? I DON'T CARE. Maybe I will care tomorrow, maybe I wont. Maybe I will wake up on Friday and I will care. Maybe I will wake up on Friday and say hum... I feel like not eating 4500 calories today. Maybe I will just have one helping of dinner. Maybe I will go for a walk after work. Maybe I will, but I am guessing I will probably not. Especially since I will be going out of town to the rabbit show this weekend. LOL. I jest, but still I'm pretty sure this weekend will include lots of coke, Doritos, beef jerky, and for the love of all things holy, beer, cigarettes and coffee. Because my friends, THOSE are the things I like right now.
But to end this self absorbed rant for now, I leave with a positive thing.

I saw a complete circular rainbow around the sun today. looked a lot like this...